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If you suffer from insomnia, you’re all too familiar with its impact on your body, brain, and mood. But the people who care about you might not fully comprehend the ways that insomnia can take a toll. Explaining the impact of insomnia to family and friends is a worthwhile endeavor so you can find support and understanding. Here’s some guidance on how to do it effectively.
People who haven’t struggled with insomnia may not realize it’s more than just getting a bad night’s sleep or feeling tired in the morning. Fatigue and sleep deprivation can make everything harder, from regulating your mood to making decisions to performing expected duties and tasks.These effects can persist long after you drag yourself out of bed in the morning:
- Fatigue or sleepiness the next day
- Concentration problems
- Tendency to make more errors or mistakes
- Increased anxiety or irritability
- Overall lack of emotional regulation
- Worries about getting enough sleep in the future
Give examples about how these symptoms make it hard for you to carry out all your normal activities of daily life. Describe times when you’ve struggled to function properly due to fatigue. Explain the toll on your mental health when you lie in bed desperate to fall asleep with no success.
No one wants to struggle with insomnia. No one wants to be exhausted all the time. But sometimes, it happens. And it may be caused by something beyond your control. Insomnia can develop from a number of possible causes, including depression and anxiety, certain medical conditions, medications, and even other sleep disorders. It can take a while to find the best way to treat an underlying medical condition that is causing you to toss and turn all night long. And in the meantime, you’re just doing the best you can to manage.
But that can be challenging to convey to your family, friends, and coworkers if they don’t really understand what causes insomnia. They might assume you’re just staying up late on purpose–or you’re just complaining. In fact, explaining insomnia to friends can require a judicious amount of patience. They might not really grasp how hard you’re trying to mitigate the problem, or how enormous some lifestyle changes meant to improve insomnia can be. Share what you’ve done already, which might include changing up your sleeping habits, exercising more, practicing stress reduction techniques, quitting caffeine, taking sleep aids, seeing a sleep specialist, or working with a therapist to try cognitive behavioral therapy for insomnia.
You may not experience insomnia in the same way that someone else does. You may have no trouble dropping off to sleep at bedtime, but around 3 am, your eyes pop open and that’s it for you for the rest of the night. Meanwhile, your neighbor might struggle more with falling asleep to begin with. The cause of your insomnia may be different from someone else’s, too.
As a result, the most effective strategies for dealing with insomnia can vary from person to person. A well-meaning friend might offer some ideas because they really want to help you. If you’ve already tried their strategies without success, it’s okay to let them know. You can decide for yourself how much information you want to share with them about the cause of your insomnia and the treatments you’ve tried. But do make a point to thank them for their suggestions and explain that you’re still searching for the right solution. If you’re tired of hearing opinions from other people, it’s reasonable to clearly state that you’re working on finding what’s effective for you and you’re not in need of suggestions.
If you know certain actions make your insomnia worse, it’s important to avoid them. And if you’ve learned certain strategies and habits are helpful, embrace them. Enlist your friends, family and coworkers to help you commit to these changes. Essentially, ask them to work with you, not against you.
For example, many experts urge people with insomnia to avoid drinking any beverage containing caffeine in the afternoon or evening. Ask your family members not to offer you coffee or cappuccino after dinner, especially if you have trouble resisting them. Same goes for alcohol. If your coworkers invite you to Happy Hour after work, you can let them know you’ll be sticking with non-alcoholic drinks.
Stress is another factor that can both lead to insomnia and exacerbate existing insomnia. You might experiment with some stress-reducing activities, and it can be beneficial to have a friend along to help out. Attend a yoga class or a mindfulness meditation workshop together. If exercise helps you unwind, ask a loved one to join you for a jog or a bike ride.
Some people may understand more easily than others. But don’t give up on the folks who have trouble imagining what living with insomnia is like. Keep trying if you believe that it’s important for them to know.
