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Like most expecting parents, my husband Sean and I eagerly awaited the birth of our first child. Pregnancy didn’t come easy to us. After a 2 year struggle with infertility we finally got pregnant with the assistance of in-vitro fertilization. We were so excited to find out that we were pregnant. All of the struggles we faced seem to be paying off.
But our incredible joy quickly turned into immense pain. On January 30th, 2014 during a routine ultrasound, doctors told us that our child no longer had a heartbeat. Soon after, I delivered a stillborn baby at 36 weeks and 4 days gestational age. Our beautiful daughter, Rhyan Ava Dinburg silently entered the world at 10:50pm that evening.
I never in my wildest dreams imagined going through such a tragic event. Losing a child is truly a nightmare that no parent should ever have to go through. It defies everything we know about the natural life and death process. Children are supposed to bury their parents, not the other way around. And to think of a baby dying is unthinkable and often a very taboo topic.
During this incredibly lonely time I longed for answers, I searched for support. I immersed myself in research and education. I reached out to other stillbirth mothers, both near and far. We spoke about our children and shared stories of their short but important lives. My husband and I crafted ways to memorialize Rhyan, and to honor her. I sought out mental health care professionals, who held my hand throughout this difficult journey and gave me the confidence I needed to begin my healing process.
I can't quite remember how we decided to start fertility treatments once again. I can however recall feeling afraid, very afraid. I constantly asked myself; How would I manage another pregnancy? What if I loose another child? How can I trust doctors again? What if my body fails me?
For the next 9 months I lived day by day, even minute by minute. I accepted my fearful thoughts and allowed them to happen. I focused my energy on strength, hope and the love that Sean and I shared. I kept busy and continued to work on healing, never once forgetting my sweet Rhyan Ava.
Sean and I welcomed our second daughter, Skyelar Rae Dinburg on January 29, 2016. Almost exactly 2 years after the birth of her big sister. She is our rainbow. Our light after the storm. Skyelar has given us a renewed hope. A new outlook on the "weather". I can now better appreciate the darkness of the storm as well as the brightness of the sun. Maybe sunshine mixed with rain and clouds isn't the worst forecast, because it's MY forecast
Dr. Alvarez and staff provided me with outstanding care throughout my entire pregnancy. He spent ample time with me all during visits, explained treatment options clearly, and took every precaution to ensure a healthy pregnancy resulting in a wonderful birthing experience at Hackensack hospital and a beautiful, healthy baby.
Dr. Alvarez was always available for me when needed and his office staff, nurses, and ultrasound techs were very kind and helpful. Dr. Alvarez is more than "just" a doctor. He genuinely cared about me and my growing family. He treated me as an individual and not just as another pregnant women. Dr. Alvarez and staff truly went above and beyond their job duties to provide me with a happy healthy pregnancy. I highly recommend Dr. Alvarez and will be forever grateful to him for providing me with a family.